Ben Talks to: Lady Astoria (NSFW)


Ahh, the internet. It is a vast place of interesting and wonderful things. And when I was internetting, I was talking to a friend, who I will name ‘Lady Astoria’. ‘Lady A’ does a thing called Cat play, which is something I had never heard of. So, I figured ‘well, why not do an interview?’. Of course, this post is age restricted with a password. So if you’ve used the password ‘tail’, then you’ll know this is NSFW. Here we go…

Firstly, can you briefly explain the competition that you are in?

So a big kitten gear boutique (make ears, collars, cuffs) KittenSightings does a weekly competition where they select photos from Instagram with the #kskitten. Then people vote for who they think they should win. Each time you win, up to three times, are different prizes or recognition


How long have you dressed in Kitten gear?

I have been into kitten play since May of 2015. I have only had kitten gear from KittenSightings since August. (I have gear from various other shops too). I was first up for #kskitten in August, and again in November (I think).

Why do you take a part in Kitten Play?

I have a friend a followed on Instagram who would wear cat ears and stuff with the #kittenplay. I was really curious and began to do research. My SO and I had dappled a bit in bondage and other types of BDSM related activities, so I did have an interest. The more I researched the more I loved it. So my partner and I integrated it into our relationship gradually, but it’s merely a part of our relationship. The community on Instagram, where I am mostly at, is also really great as well.

It isn’t purely sexual, though?

It really isn’t much like “50 Shades of Grey”. Haha. No, not at all. There’s a Dom/sub portion out of the bedroom as well. A dominant takes care of their submissive, makes sure they’re doing well. They also provide guidance, and sometimes training. A submissive responds to their dominant by obeying orders, responding well training, among other things. Punishments do occur, but usually they are corrective and have aftercare. They are not for the sake of hurting someone else.

How big is your community?

The pet play community is fairly large! It’s only a portion of a larger BDSM community. It is only getting bigger too, although I’m not sure it’s all for the right reasons. Places that make gear are usually swamped with work, and a few places that do accept pet models like The Chateau are always being flooded with applications. So it’s a big community that’s only getting bigger. It is a bit underground because it’s not too socially acceptable.

How do you think, personally, that you can overcome stereotypes and gain more acceptance? As we slowly move closer to a more acceptable world, where LGBT’s can get married in the UK, and in America?

I think the biggest way we can overcome stereotypes is education. By showing people what petplay and BDSM is, and what it’s not it would allow for greater understanding and possibly acceptance. It really isn’t what popular culture makes it out to be, thanks “50 Shades”… BDSM requires a deep connection and trust between two people, and a lot more care than a normal relationship. I feel if people had more education then they would see that it’s not all about the kinky toys and S&M (those are parts, just not the whole), it includes a caring relationship as well.


Thanks to A for talking. If you have questions, do comment. If you want to do an interview, please also get in touch. I’d like to do more of these. Thank you.


About the author


Since 2012, Benjamin Attwood has written for the If you Ask Ben blog.

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