Consent and Safety: A reaction to the YouTube Sex Scandal

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It is time a wrote something about a hot topic this year. And that is the YouTube Sex scandal. It all heated it up at the start of the year, and has continued all the way to now. The latest accused of  this is one Sam Pepper, a ‘prankster’ who has now lost his lucrative contract with his YouTube network. I have been watching the videos of the emotional young women who have had to endure this, and as a former fan of many of the accused (including one Alex Day). It is time I spoke out and shared my thoughts.

I commend all the young ladies and gentlemen (yes, some males have been involved too) who have found the courage to record and admit confessions of being abused by these people. It is good to finally have some justice for months and years of genuine hurt. And it is very good that the fans have finally seen their heroes for the monsters they truly are. I am one of said fans, and like many I was shocked to hear that Alex Day, a man I have supported for over 3 years, cheated on his girlfriends. Not only that, he sexually assaulted them, including under-aged girls. As a result, I have done the appropriate thing and withdrawn my support for him, and all the other accused individuals. I feel partially responsible for this, as I bought the albums, and I watched the videos he made for over 3 years. In my mind, I am guilty in funding a sex offender. This is why I feel responsible in warning all of you. It is for the greater good. I am glad I am doing this, because I want to make sure all of you guys are safe.

I am big on consent. I would never force someone to do things they never wanted or intended to do. And that is basic courtesy and behaviour that ALL of you should follow. These YouTubers (mostly British and American males) seem to have been poorly educated on this. I fear that this is a severe detriment to the education of many young people in school. All we got was a talk on STD’s and how to be safe in that way. THAT IS NOT ENOUGH. People need to learn more than be safe in that way. And with more teens having sex younger, it is even more important children learn basic etiquette and respect for each gender. As I live in England, here is our law on consent. This may be different where you live:

The age of consent to any form of sexual activity is 16 for both men and women. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 introduced a new series of laws to protect children under 16 from sexual abuse. However, the law is not intended to prosecute mutually agreed teenage sexual activity between two young people of a similar age, unless it involves abuse or exploitation. Specific laws protect children under 13, who cannot legally give their consent to any form of sexual activity. There is a maximum sentence of life imprisonment for rape, assault by penetration, and causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity. There is no defence of mistaken belief about the age of the child, as there is in cases involving 13–15 year olds.

It is important children know the laws. And it is equally important that children learn to say and accept what ‘no’ means. People need to know their rights, and they need to know they don’t have to do what their partners tell them to do, and they need to know that if bad things happen, they can speak to someone. Our society has failed in those basic rights, and it is why we have people like those YouTubers accused, as well as cases such as Jimmy Saville’s coming to light over 40 years after these things happened. We have failed in these basic things, and we need to make up for it now by bringing people to justice, and protection through necessary education. Quite clearly our children are not getting this now, and it will continue, as a result.

As well as that, the delusions brought by fame have also warped people’s conduct. You can picture the famous person, they have a sizeable amount of fans, who want to gain respect. I don’t blame them, I’d love to earn the respect of someone famous. But then, the person takes advantage of their fans, and manipulates and uses them for sex. Like a groupie. It is sickening and wrong. These are the people who gave you all you have to be thankful for. They were the ones who gave you a home, all those opportunities, and the money. Any you repay them by raping them?! It makes me super angry that people thing they can do this to the people they should be repaying, for the support and the admiration they have given them.

Before I go, I have a few links to share

First, this is a masterpost of the whole scandal, and all who’ve been accused thus far. This is added to very regularly, so don’t expect this list to be final: http://unpleasantmyles.tumblr.com/post/79455706244/tom-milsom-hexachordal-heres-the-post-olga

And this is another blog post focused on Alex Day, from the perspective of another fan: http://kikiwantshercookie.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/no-longer-nerimon/

As you can tell, I am very saddened to hear this has happened. If you are dealing with abuse from your partner or ex-partner, or if someone took advantage of you, do not stand for it. If you cannot report it to the police, then make a blog post, or a video. Tell family or a friend. These people love you and want to help you. They love you more than any YouTuber does. They certainly respect you more. Stay safe, friends.

 

 

About the author

Ben

Since 2012, Benjamin Attwood has written for the If you Ask Ben blog.

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  • Thank you for sharing my post, although I think you put a much better perspective on it!

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