Post school thoughts

P

The 6th of June, I woke up at 6:35am, got into my Uniform, with my blazer covered in badges from the last 5 years. I left home around 7:45am, I got my train, walked to the school with Luke (my friend), I then got there, spoke to a few teachers, went to my class for revision, and at 1:15pm I sat an exam. It lasted about 95 minutes (I got extra time) and I left S7, and left the school for the last time.

On the exterior, I was ecstatic, I threw my yellow year 11 badge in the bin (an idea I didn’t really like) took my tie off and cheered, and ran off. But now, it’s over. I have never felt so empty before, it feels like part of me has died really. I didn’t feel like this when I finished Year 6, or when I started year 11, or even on my leaver’s assembly almost two weeks ago, because I knew ‘It’s not quite over, not just yet’. It is now.

I actually found a draft blog post on my WordPress account for a blog like this I was going to write last September, and I took this off it ‘I always saw this as a journey, and I nearly can see the top of the mountain from where I am standing, and though I am not quite there, when I climb this particular part, I will know that I am closer to completing my personal struggles and that I am nearer the top of my mountain’. I have completed that part of my mountain, the mountain being my struggles and challenges in the harsh, cold world around me.

Now I have finished Secondary School, I will have to live with the fact that the amazing people I was surrounded by, the artists, the thinkers, and the many inspirational people that I have met and befriended, I simply will no longer see them. I am going to miss a lot of things, and that is the thing I will miss most. I will also miss the blazer, as I won’t be able to wear all my badges like I have while I was in school.

While I am upset, that does not mean that I would do it all again, I have no regrets. If I was given the chance to go back to September 5th 2008, at 9:35am, I would not live through it all again, no chance. I do not want to go through the life changing experiences, the falls, the tears, the broken feelings, the teenage problems, the operation or the tooth extraction, the Berlin trip, the arguements or the tests! What I did in Rainhill Media Arts college between the dates September 5th 2008 to June 6th 2013 harbours no regrets or anything to be ashamed about. I was a School Councillor 2 times, a Year Councillor, a House Captain, a Sports Captain, a Senior Prefect, Wannabe singer, writer, poet, politician and Head boy, multiple achiever of the month awards. I’ve been to Berlin, London (sort of), The Peak District, Alton Towers. If I were to do it all again, It wouldn’t be as fun.

Also, I maybe Low, but I am optimistic about my future as well, I am looking forward to June 27th, August 22nd, and most importantly, September 5th 2013 as I will be back to make my mark on Sixth Form, and I will march to University, get my PGCE and teach teens to make a better future for this country, and I will do a better job than David Cameron did, even if he has all the power in this country.

I am sad yes, but my friend Ellen probably said better words to end this entry than I could ‘IĀ feel worried about when I leave next year, but it’ll be okay, you can meet lots of new people in college and stuff and be able to pursue your dream job!’. Thank you, and goodbye.

About the author

Ben

Since 2012, Benjamin Attwood has written for the If you Ask Ben blog.

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